…Is a verse often quoted in the court of law just before you give evidence. A bible is used to swear in that you vow to tell the WHOLE TRUTH and NOTHING but the TRUTH. What is interesting is at the end of the declaration you declare, “So help me God”.

When God led me to write a journey of my truth, I never thought in a million years I would ‘blog’ let alone be classed as a ‘blogger’…OMG! I am not the best of writers nor is grammar my strongest point but the beauty of God is that He uses people whom society would classify as less value. For example, look at Rahab, a prostitute who is part of the lineage of Jesus Christ. Look at Tamar, a woman who was the wife of Judah’s son and that son whom the bible described as ‘wicked’ was eventually put to death by God (Gen 38: 6-38). History kept repeating itself, so Tamar took it upon herself to disguise herself as a prostitute, seduce Judah to get pregnant in order to bear children. Mary the mother of Jesus was a teen mother when she gave birth to our Lord of Saviour.

God showed me He does not look at our outward, but He looks at the heart. He uses people who are willing to step out of their comfort zone to enable His will for our lives to be done, despite our inabilities, our errors, God still uses us for His purpose and for His good.

When the Lord took me to John 8:32, I never in a million years would have thought I would share my personal journey with people I do not know, with readers who have been led or curious or just had time on their hands to read about my journey or shall I say read my blogs. As the year is rapidly drawing to a close, I reflect on the life lessons I had to learn despite the truth being painful, shocking and mind blowing. Upon reflection (despite the gruesome and at times painful) journey, it has been VERY LIBERATING and REWARDING. Hebrews 11:6 states, “…for he who comes to God must believe that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him”.

What have I learned? Someone once said to me, ‘a lesson is NOT learned until you have learned it for yourself.’ One of the greatest lesson I have learned throughout this journey is mercy and grace! Hebrews 4:6 tells me that I can “…approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that [I] we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”. I have learnt that God truly wants the BEST for me but in order to be BEST in order to have the BEST with MY name on it, I had to differentiate my external truth Vs my internal truth. I was being questioned as to what is my truth? The truth led me to ‘Die…to self’ by breaking repetitive cycles that was causing me more harm than good. Whilst the cycles were breaking and being broken, I was finding the process exceedingly frustrating and at times tiring. Why?

I had to relinquish control and REALLY trust God and start to apply the fruits of the Spirits (Gal 5:22-23), -patience and self-control. This was not an easy process due to my flesh waring with my spirit. Throughout the process waiting on God, I decided to renew my mind by working with God rather than against Him

Whilst waiting on God I remember during a particular prayer meeting, Pastor stated how we must put on the ‘armour of truth’. Noticing significant changes in life, the Lord had showed me in a vision: a fish. The Lord instructed me to title my next blog ‘Gutted’. When questioned why? He showed me the process in preparing a fish before it’s cooked. Three stages stood out: scaling of the fish- how I had to scale down things that was not relevant and that included habits and people in my life that/who took up too much of my time. The next step was Fins-cutting off and trimming down the fins which entailed cutting off habits/ people who served me no purpose. Lastly the ‘guttering’ of the intestines, the Lord showed me there are things in my heart that needed to gutted out for example, stubbornness, forgiveness, sexual immorality to name a few.

By applying these process, the devil is not only mad, he no longer has me bound as the truth continues to set me free. I am the clay that is in the Potters hands (Isa 64:8 and Jer 18: 1-4) being moulded and shaped to be the person who God wants me to be. I working as a new creation who is no longer ASHAMED of her TRUTH. Now I can confidently trust God [finally] with my life.

I am still under construction a continued work in progress but…




Sweet Rose

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