Hello my lovely beautiful people,
It has been a while since I dug into my own feelings, experiences, observations and thoughts. So here I am sharing a few things about what has been on my heart, regarding people, behaviours and relationships.
Let the story begin……As you know, I like meeting new people and getting to know the real authentic them, not just the face they show to the world. Well, I met someone a while ago who is beautiful, amazing, fearfully and wonderfully made! MY spirit just loved them…..
As I began to watch, observe and be on the receiving end of their behaviour, I noticed that actually, their behaviour did not match their words or the facade they showed to friends, family and loved ones.
This gorgeous person just did not see their true worth and value, which meant they could not value others within their life. It did not matter what positivity was sown into them, there were still unresolved issues from the past that had a hold on them. Stopping them from moving forward into anything positive, and have devasting effects on them and those around them.
This was so sad to see, as often hurt people hurt people, and I found myself on the receiving end of their harmful behaviours. Now I believe this person, does not want to be unhappy and wants those loving relationships, friendships, love and care.
However, instead of working through their own thoughts and feelings, they STERB!
WHAT IS A STERB?
“Short-term energy-relieving behaviour (STERB) is continuously repeated, sometimes involuntary or compulsive, behaviour for releasing the build-up of energy caused by unresolved emotions or trauma.
Examples of common STERB’S are overeating, substance and alcohol use, excessive exercise, social isolation, sex, fantasies, shopping and workaholism.
Most of these actions are not harmful in and of themselves, but they do not provide a long-term resolution of the emotional pain, and may even lead to damaging consequences in the long run.
Treatment of grief through self-medication and STERBs can hide the normal and natural reactions to loss and will only delay and obstruct the natural process of grief, making it more difficult to reconnect those feelings later.
There are different types of trauma that are can trigger our behaviours such as Childhood Trauma, Rejection, Abandonment, Abuse and so on… If we do not address these, we rob ourselves of living a happy fulfiled life.
Nothing is so far gone that it can not be restored and that includes you, your relationship with yourself and others.
There are always different ways of acting on your own trauma, sometimes we are the sterber and sometimes we attract and put up with the sterber!
Whatever one you are, now is time to make a change, and the only way you can do that is through acceptance, willingness to accept help, getting the help through professionals and partnering with God to help see you through.
Will it be easy? NO
Will it hurt? YES
Will It be worth it? YES
HOW do you know Kelleigh? BECAUSE I have gone through it, I have worked through being abandoned, rejected, abused.
I have acted up, STERBing up the place like a real pain!
Needless to say, it has not been an easy journey, but you get to a point in life when enough is enough!
With God, my new life has been very possible!
(Listen to my podcast and read the blog….(Think it is time to record a new one…with more depth what do you think? )
It’s time for Healing, Freedom, Living-IT IS TIME TO TRY JESUS, you have tried everything else it’s not working.
Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. (NLT)
The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone. (NLT)