Hello LE Family, how are you, I pray you are well.
Welcome back to another significant 12-blog series, can you believe it’s April already…we are truly racing through the year!
This month I am making myself vulnerable by inviting you into my personal life and sharing some of my journeys during 2022
This particular blog will be covering the months of April and May 2022, as over the course of these two months God brought it to light that he wanted me separated in mind, body, and spirit through the process of deliverance and inner healing (two separate but connected things as you will discover).
So let’s start this month with deliverance:
“Deliverance is defined as “a rescue from bondage or danger.”
In the bible, we are promised power and strength when we call upon God to deliver us from spiritual attacks. When we understand, accept, and believe this we can (usually with support from others) demolish Satan’s evil schemes to bind us in addictions, damaged emotions, negative thought patterns, relationship issues, finances, or other strongholds.
When you look up all of the deliverance scripture in the bible you will see that it is clearly is the act of God by which He acts on behalf of and rescues His people from danger!
I don’t know about you but I want to be rescued from danger!
I want to be free this is why Christ died for us right?
I am so grateful that God forgives our sins and loves you and me so much.
However we must acknowledge that it does not end there, we are then called to ‘work out our salvation. ’ And the wonderful thing is that God wants to support us in the process. Not through our own efforts of being good, but through the power of the Holy Spirit and through deliverance from the evil forces that have been given access to continually wound, break us, and hinder our freedom!
God is the bondage breaker and we partner with him on that process.
Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling
– The Key Scripture –
When I think of all the harm I have encountered and the tears I have cried over the years, it’s amazing for me to now know deeply that God is all-knowing, all-seeing, and loving.
2022 has truly been a revolutionary, heartwarming, radical, life-changing experience for me.
This leads us nicely into this month’s scriptures.
Signed, Sealed, and Delivered!
At this point I had been single for over 6 years, growing in Christ, working on myself, going through counseling, and building a wonderful life!
So why am I finding myself experiencing overwhelming symptoms of heartbreak and brokenness I should be solid right, so why am I crying,……..
‘I feel rejected AGAIN!
What is wrong with me?
What is it about me?
Why am I not good enough?
Why am I feeling so broken again?
Why am I here again’?
All these are questions I found myself asking when I experienced; rejection, being lied to, deceived, being let down, and falling for ‘potential love’.
The answer is simple after 6 years I met someone I was actually attracted to, someone I liked! This opened doors to my heart, my feelings, needs, wants and desires that had been buried for so long. I was full of hope and one could say I let my imagination get the best of me without and sadly I picked the wrong apple from the tree! 🍏
But you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die.” (Genesis 2:17)
Needless to say, this relationship did not even get out of the starting block for many reasons, mainly me wanting to see the best in people and wanting to give love and receive love, me ignoring those large red flags warning me!
I know I’m not alone, being a woman of faith the pickings can seem slim…let’s be honest! Trusting in what our eyes see, combined with the enemy’s voice, our own brokenness, and limited faith can really affect our sight when it comes to romantic relationships. I mean, trust me when I say I tried, I hoped, I prayed, I longed for, I wanted this man but it did not change a thing or produce any fruit or movement!
I longed for this person in an unhealthy way!
Things started to change, my hopes turned to sadness and depression, tears soaked my pillows, and negative thoughts and perspectives on this relationship began to plague my mind.
How on God’s green earth am I here again?
‘Why am I so sad?
Why am I displaying past behaviors because something that I wanted didn’t work out as I imagined and hoped for?
My close Christian friend gifted me a tear jar (God knew what was coming). I started writing down my pain, full of tears I recorded my thoughts and disappointments about this relationship one by one and then gave them to God to keep and sort out.
You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book
Needless to say, I stated to realize that this was very much an area where I needed God to minister to me deeply. I got on my knees and I cried out for God to help me, deliver me and heal me. Because I could not do this anymore! I couldn’t go through this anymore or again, and I could not I keep myself safe for the rest of my life by not dating or being open to a real Godly relationship.
I realized I was in bondage, soul tied, deceived, broken, and it was time to put Satan and his demons to bed!
Yes, I said Demons!
Okay, let me quickly explain what demons are for those who may not know.
They are fallen angels who joined Satan in his rebellion against God and who were defeated and cast out of heaven along with Satan
So how do demons relate to you and me?
Well, simply put, demons continue to serve the devil working to harm us and lead us away from God and into sin. They gain entry through our own fleshly desires, the sins of others against us, and through areas of damage and brokenness ( Hence the connection with inner healing)They do this by attaching their spirits to us, for example- the evil spirit of depression, lust, abandonment, loss etc. They mess with our thoughts, and beliefs about ourselves, others, and God ultimately causing us to believe, live and act upon lies! Jesus will ultimately banish Satan and all of his little crony demons into hell one day, but until that day we as Christians are involved in a battle for our minds and will. With this in mind, we need to use all weapons available to us.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
Moving forward. It was time for me to embrace love and freedom from God and to be delivered from the evil spirits that had attached to(Notice I said attached and not possessed. I am very much filled with the Holy Spirit and owned by God.. so there is no possession going here….just saying)! As a child, I experienced trauma. Trauma from caregivers, single traumatic events that harmed me, unhealthy encounters with adults, and negativity that was spoken over my life including death.
Times of parental separation and perceived abandonment as a child left me crying, I felt rejected. I thought that something was wrong with me, that there was something about me that made them leave me. That I was not good enough, and that I was broken. As a child, I would wait at the window to be picked up, I tried to be good, and I hoped to be wanted, but It did not change a thing.
Looking back this pattern of behavior became a stronghold and followed me into adult relationships.
You see my responses, reactions and behavior towards the relationship I mentioned earlier had everything to do with my past and the strongholds trying to pull me back and keep me in a place of brokenness. I’m not saying the other person played no part (however the law of attraction was definitely in play here and the enemy was loving every moment of it)
The law of attraction argues that positive thoughts and actions reap positive rewards and vice versa for negative ones.
Even though I knew and understood in theory why I was feeling and behaving the way I was through the work I do in training, mentoring, and counseling, I had not been truly delivered and spiritually separated from Satan in this particular area of my life!
Combining everything together from childhood trauma and adult trauma you can clearly see how I was kept in bondage repeating the same cycle and patterns.
I was still exposed to Satan and he still had a gateway to enter my life and cause me further harm. The strongman spirit called fear of abandonment and rejection was controlling me and bringing along other spirits of confusion, deception heartbreak, abandonment, and depression.
Listen to this amazing song-Deliver Me (This Is My Exodus) by Donald Lawrence
Jesus said IT IS FINISHED!
Me and my mentor, friend, and sister in Christ embarked on a full-on deliverance, spiritual warfare session, laying hands, breaking down the strongholds that were holding me down, and trying to keep me captive!
I received forgiveness
I let go
I stood on the truth
We cut ties
We prayed off curses
One by One those spirits were destroyed, bound up and sent to the back to the fiery pit of hell!
No longer am I to be bound to depression, abandonment, confusion, and heartbreak and I’m FREEEEEEEE!
So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!
All done, I hear you say? Errmmmm well not quite yet! I am almost certainly free and delivered, however, I was still hurt and in need of healing, I still needed God to heal me and bandage up my wounds now he had cleaned me out!
We will dig into this next month with the Love, Embraced, Healing Blog.
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds
-Reflection and Meditation-
As you sit and reflect on what you have read you may realize that you have been stuck in patterns, cycles, and behaviors that may have hurt you or hurt others. Your deliverance, experiences, and behaviors may look different from mine, you may be struggling or have been affected by someone else and be battling addiction, the effects of sexual abuse, trauma, shopping addiction, anger, bitterness, defensiveness, anxiety etc.
You may even be thinking of times when you cried so hard you thought your head would explode and no one even knew about it! (Remember in this moment and at that moment God sees and knows.
Express and give your tears to God.
Don’t bottle them up inside
He wants them poured into a new bottle!
Now is the time to act and experience the true essence of freedom in Christ!
Whilst it can be painful to dig deeper into yourself, it is an important part of self-discovery, wellness and freedom.
You may find that it has been you who has been hurting others because you have been hurt. It is important to remember that this is all a ploy for Satan to destroy you and other people.
There is still time to say sorry (repent) and ask God for help and forgiveness. God loves you and He doesn’t condemn you, He wants you to also walk in freedom!
Life Through the Spirit
Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life has set you[a] free from the law of sin and death.
Needless to say, we have all been hurt by someone or something along life’s journey, But there comes a time when we have to get up and fight for what is ours and what has already been given on the Cross…you are free!
Remember the David who spoke with King Saul before his big fight with Goliath?
Well, he knew full well he was going to win the fight. He had been delivered from lions and bears already, in fact with God’s guidance he had personally destroyed them.
The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.”Saul said to David, “Go, and the Lord be with you.”
1 Samuel 17
The Lord is with you too, so go ahead and invite Him into the areas of your life where you need him most, maybe speak to a trusted friend or counselor or each out to your local church.
You can also reach out to healing ministries within Life Essence externally here
Listen to this amazing song-Freedom Looks Good On You (feat. Israel Houghton, Bri Babineaux & Ryan Ofei) | Maverick City | TRIBL
Stay posted for ‘The Love Embrace-Healed” pt2 coming 1st May 2023 🙂
Below is a picture of my incomplete creative work that encapsulates the year and is based on two key scriptures; Joshua 3- Crossing the Jordan River the second being John 4-Jesus Talks With a Samaritan Woman